


A Friend of Barry Allen

by The_Forgotten_Nobody



Category: Justice League (2017)
Genre: Angst, Barry wants friends, Barry's trying his best okay, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Team becoming family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-26
Updated: 2017-12-21
Packaged: 2019-02-07 07:16:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12836052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Forgotten_Nobody/pseuds/The_Forgotten_Nobody
Summary: The 5 times Barry was convinced he had no friends and the 1 time he discovered he had 5.





	1. 1

Barry's never been on a team before. Even in school, he was always picked last and so while  _technically_ he was on a team, he's pretty sure it doesn't count when there was the mutual decision that he would just stand as far away as allowed, not getting in the way and only participating when coach literally threw the ball at him.

This time though, Barry's participating. This time, he was actually  _asked_  to join. If only Johnny Kleinman could see him now, fighting alongside a  _Goddess_  and the recently reincarnated  _Superman_ He'd definitely regret throwing him in that dumpster.

So yeah, Barry's on a team and it's awesome. Not only that, but his team has an awesome, inspiring name, has saved the world and huh…maybe they'll get action figures. At the very least posters. What if they got made into a cartoon? Barry has a secret fondness for those. Maybe they'd give him his superhero name. He's been thinking The Scarlet Speedster but maybe The Flash would-

It's probably a good job Clark ( _he gets to call Superman Clark_ ) punched him when he did otherwise all that might have come out of Barry's mouth. Things tend to, if lest to fester too long in his brain, and it's not his fault, really it's not, it's just that he has a hundred thoughts flitting through his head before a single transmission has crossed nerves in someone else's and sometimes he just needs to  _let it out_ -

"You need to keep focused Barry," Clark tells him, the hint of apology in his tone, and Barry quickly nods even though  _ouch_  that really does not help his reeling head.

"Sorry, sorry I know. Just…what if they made toys of us? And a TV show. I hope they get my nose right."

Barry would like to blame the incredibly likely concussion he has for that.

"How the hell did you survive Steppenwolf?" Arthur asks, rolling his shoulder. It looked like he's fared better against Diana than Barry had against Clark.

"You know. I don't think I'm gonna answer that."

"Oh, now you decide not to talk?"

Someone without a concussion would have said 'I am not going to answer that like a mature adult'.

Barry definitely has a concussion.

"Talking's good for the soul, you know. Much better when you're talking to someone else too. And these are important questions you know because publicity is everything these days. What if people suddenly don't like us? What if the  _government_ comes after us? I got arrested once you know. Not fun. In fact…"

Barry snaps his mouth shut, teeth biting his bottom lip as he catches the stares everyone's giving him. A mixture of confusion, exasperation and…there it is. Annoyance.

Sometimes it's easy to forget that even though they're a team, they're not friends. They were practically strangers when they saved the world a few weeks ago! Now they're just…acquaintances who hang out sometimes to train and devise strategies?

Barry would like to be friends with them though. He really hadn't been lying to Bruce when he said he needed them. Being shuffled from foster home to foster home, Barry had learnt never to get attached to people. What was the point? Even when he got older he was first just so busy investigating his mother's murder and then both investigating  _and_  being a hero (or vigilante, according to the police).

This though, this he can see becoming a permanent thing. The world's always going to need protecting, right? And they need to learn how to fight together, learn each other's strengths and weaknesses. Surely being friends would just make all that easier? And be fun. And nice.

"I'm done for the day," Victor announces and he doesn't even wait before heading off. The others don't bother to stop him and also begin to pack away, leaving Barry standing there helplessly. He doesn't want to give up. Just because they're not friends now doesn't mean they can't still become it.

Before anyone else can escape, Barry blurts out, "So um, who wants to go grab drinks? Or food? I'm always up for food but, uh, you already knew that and…no? No one?"

Somehow, Bruce has already managed to vanish. Arthur is looking amused and both Diana and Clark are looking at him with twin expressions of…sympathy? Pity? His stomach sinks.

"Drinks, kid? Are you even old enough?"

"I'm 22!" Barry protests but it sounds weak, even to his own ears. Arthur runs a critical eye down him that makes him feel uncomfortable exposed.

"Maybe another time," Diana says and though Barry gives her a grateful smile, it does nothing to stop the twisting in his chest.

He knows he should be grateful he's a part of the most badass team ever, and confident that he is an adult who doesn't need to rely on anyone and can take care of himself, but even so, Barry can't help but continue to hold onto that childish desire to have a friend.


	2. 2

Barry likes Victor.  Sure he’s a bit quiet but he’s smart and has a good heart – two things Barry can certainly appreciate.  Besides, he can easily talk enough for the two of them. 

Sometimes, though, Victor gets these... ‘moods’ and Barry feels awful for calling them that but there’s no other word he’s got for them.  He’s sure if he were in Victor’s situation he’d feel more than a little crappy some of the time but it gets to Barry because he wants to help but he’s not sure _how_.  He’s tried leaving him alone except Barry’s not sure if that can count as helping because Victor keeps on doing it and it makes his chest hurt every time he spies the guy sat in the corner while everyone else is grouped together, be it talking or training. 

He doesn’t know what it must be like in Victor’s head but seeing the crazy hacking he can do; the speed at which he can process all that information, Barry guesses it must get overwhelming.  Barry himself knows all about how overwhelming things can get, even before his speed there were instances where sounds and lights could just get _too much_ , and while he sometimes needs to take a time out, take a few deep cleansing breathes, sometimes he needs a distraction.

Steeling himself, Barry prepares to be that distraction for Victor. 

“Wanna muffin?” Barry asks as a peace offering, sitting beside the cyborg.  From beneath a hood, Barry spies a flash of red.  It runs slowly along the muffin and Barry hastens to add, “It’s chocolate chip.”

For a moment, Victor doesn’t speak and just as Barry decides that it’s totally cool if this is simply a two bros chilling in silence kind of deal when a rough voice says, “I’m more of a blueberry man myself.”

“I can get you a blueberry one if you want.  It’ll only take me a-”

“Leave it, Barry.  In fact, I’d rather be left alone.”

See, Barry knows that’s a perfectly reasonable request.  He respects people’s need for alone time but he knows if he leaves he’ll just always have Victor in the corner of his eye looking gloomy like some sad, cybernetically enhanced puppy. 

He and Victor shared that fist bump.  That must mean they’re friends, right?  And friends look out for one another; do whatever they can to help.  If he even has a chance of helping Victor out, he’s got to at least try, hasn’t he?

“I hear you man but sometimes being alone is actually worse.  I used to be alone a lot, not always by choice.  A lot of the time the other foster kids weren’t so nice.  I mean, I get it, it sucks having no parents or being taken away from them and being shoved in a tiny house full of other miserable, angry kids but…that’s not what you wanna hear about.  What I’m trying to say is, sometimes being alone can be great but other times it can be nice to just talk it out with someone.  So, um, wanna talk?  Or maybe I could just keep talking?”

Victor merely waves a silver hand and Barry takes that to mean ‘go ahead oh kind and charming Barry, I would be delighted to hear all about the escapades you got up to when getting used to your powers.’

Since Barry’s a pretty awkward person, he has some pretty awkward stories to tell but he’s always been sure (mostly to console himself afterwards that _something_ good had to have come from them) that they’re actually quite funny.  He starts with the incident where he first discovered he could phase and stumbled right into his (thankfully blind) neighbours bathroom, right in position to get a lovely view of the old woman’s birthday suit before he fortunately managed to phase back through again. Then he goes onto the time where he literally rescued a cat out of a tree, only to have some crazy conspiracy theorist tackle him from behind claiming he was an alien going to probe everyone.  Barry likes to think his sturdy, _handmade_ , suit is actually very nice, thank you very much, and not alien-like in the slightest but it still beats the time someone thought he was a clown.  Clowns are _scary_ and Barry has been reliably informed he is nothing of the sort.

Throughout his rambling Victor doesn’t laugh but he also doesn’t tell Barry to get lost, which he takes as a win since it’s that usually happens a lot with him.  What he doesn’t notice, however, is the tightening around Victor’s eye; the way one hand subtly comes up to rub against his temple. 

“It’s not all bad though,” Barry continues obliviously, “I mean, my powers are awesome!  I finally feel like I have a purpose, you know, I can truly help people.  Do you think that?  I think that.  And dude, your powers are awesome too.  I mean, I guess I’m kind of smart but you, you’re on a whole other level and you’ve got some mad skills.  It’s all worth it so-”

“ _Worth it?”_   Victor hisses and Barry’s voice dies off instantly.  “You think that what happened to me was _worth it_?  Losing my mom, becoming more machine than human, sometimes wondering I’ve lost that last bit of humanity I got left with because all I have in my brain are calculations, facts, things I never could have known before, things I don’t even _want_ to know but are there anyway.  It might have worked out for you Allen but don’t think that I don’t wish every day I could go back to the way things were.  Shit.  Next time why don’t you listen to me when I tell you to go the hell away?”

Barry can feel the burning behind his eyes but he doesn’t let anything come of it.  He knows he made a mistake.  He forgot just what brought Victor to where he was.  All he’d wanted to do was try and make Victor feel a bit better about it all. 

Not trusting himself to talk, Barry speeds away.

He’s done enough damage.

* * *

Later, Victor finds a box of blueberry muffins in his bag.  Guilt building, he sighs and takes a bite of one.  Eating doesn’t really work the same way anymore but he can appreciate the taste.  And the gesture. 

He’s not very good at apologising but he thinks he ought to try.  At the very least, he’ll try not to snap at Barry again. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the support so far guys! Since I'm so busy right not I can't tell you when updates will be (tbh I'm too busy to be writing this fic but damn it I need some relaxation time) and also I won't be able to do much research for this fic like I normally would. Therefore there's likely going to be stuff that's wrong but at the end of the day, this is just a bit of fun! Hope you enjoy it regardless.
> 
> I might post some updates on, well, updating on my tumblr - scarlett-ice - or maybe some teaser sentences if you wanna check me out there!


	3. 3

As much as Barry most certainly does not approve of evil masterminds trying to overthrow the word for questionable reasons that might or might not involve some daddy issues, he can’t help but think that this is what the team needs.  In the battlefield, that’s when everyone really seems to come alive.  They’re in their element, they have a purpose.  This proves their meetings, their training, hadn’t been for nothing.  It might not be their first battle together but it’s the first time they’ve planned for it.  The first time they’ve been properly ready and this, Barry thinks, this could be his shot.  This could be where Barry can show to them that he’s worth his place, that Bruce wasn’t wrong to recruit him. 

Maybe, if Barry reminds them just how good he is out on the field, they’ll respect him a bit more.  They’ll see him in a new light. 

Like every other malevolent alien bent on destruction, ‘Krexner’ has minions.  Though Barry wouldn’t say giant, deformed, mole-like creatures is _good_ per say, it beats the bugs.

Barry still hates bugs.

So far, though, Barry would dare to say they’re doing okay.  No, scratch that, they’re a force of butt-kicking awesomeness.  Sure these zombie moles seem to be endless but with Arthur creating shields of water from nearby hydrants to protect the public, Victor and Clark dealing shots from the sky, Bruce and Diana working on getting to Krexner (who, last Barry checked, was laughing manically on top of some building) and Barry himself also on civilian and mole clean up duty, there’s no way they can’t lose. 

Although, it would be nice if the moles’ blood wasn’t so sticky.  Or such a bright, fluorescent blue.

“Ergh,” Barry grimaces, wiping the goop onto the closest thing to him which just so happens to be the handbag belonging to the woman he just saved.  She shrieks louder than she had when Barry saved her life but before she can begin hitting him with her ruined accessory, Clark flies over, in the middle of dodging a blast of something the grossest colour of green Barry’s ever seen, and shouts, “Barry, the Four Seasons, I need you to-”

“On it man!” Barry yells, already speeding away eagerly.  This is his shot.  _Clark_ needs him to do something and if Clark chose Barry, it’s got to be important.  Being on civilian duty, there must be some more people in need of saving and Barry can already see them, guests at the top of the hotel screaming in alarm, a swarm of moles is almost upon the building.  For now ignoring the determined moles, Barry flashes past them , and heads inside the hotel, taking a brief 8 th of a second to admire the place he’ll probably never be able to afford unless Bruce is feeling generous. 

One by one, Barry rescues the bewildered guests and just as he’s checked about half the rooms, he feels the ground rumble.  Unconcerned, Barry continues to the next floor but moments later, a vibration shakes through the ground, violent enough that it causes him to stumble.  For the first time that day, Barry panics.

As he struggles to regain his balance, thoughts zip through Barry’s head.  What if he can’t get the rest of the people out in time?  What if there’s just one person he misses?  One person who doesn’t get to see their family again?  One kid who’s lost a parent?   He’s already got enough people on his conscious and now he’s sliding further and further towards the edge, he’s going to be too late, he’s-

Something slams into Barry’s back and a voice shouts, “Get out!” With his feet planted firmly back on the tilted ground, Barry does as he’s told and joins the rest of the guests outside, watching as one side of the building collapses under itself.   Arthur’s fending off the rest of the moles Barry had bypassed, near a hole Barry only just now sees, and Clark is flying down, a young man in his arms.  The guy looks like he’s about to cry and he gives Clark a hug so tight that Barry has to look away.

One person. 

“Go help Arthur,” Clark says and Barry does as he’s told, aware they’re going to be discussing this later.

They beat Krexner eventually, but unlike the others, Barry doesn’t feel victorious. 

* * *

Barry should probably be glad Clark directs him to a different room, rather than doing it in front of the group.  He knows what’s coming, what his screw up has cost, had almost cost. 

Not only did those alien minions look like moles but they burrowed like them too, using their super sharp teeth to get through the foundations of the hotel – one of the most populated buildings in the area.  Because he hadn’t listened, Barry thought he just had to get the civilians out.  Because he hadn’t listened, he hadn’t known about what was going on down below, hadn’t known he wouldn’t be fast enough to just get them all out. 

Barry had realised all this on the way back but Clark tells him anyway and if Barry’s head hung any lower, it’d be touching the ground. 

“You’re part of a team now Barry.  That means you need to listen, not just assume you know what’s best.”

“Because it makes an ass out of you and me?”  Barry jokes weakly and, as expected, it falls flat.

“Just make sure you learn from this experience,” Clark advises and Barry nods; eyes downcast.

“I’m sorry.  “I-” _I wanted to impress you.  I wanted to prove my place on this team.  I wanted you all to like me._ “I know I messed up.  Big time.”

Clark claps him on the shoulder and Barry jerks under the touch.  “You’re still young Barry,” he says as if that’s a viable excuse, as if Victor isn’t his age yet doesn’t mess up like he does.  Victor doesn’t get treated like he’s a kid trying to play with the big boys. 

But maybe that’s what Barry’s doing.  Maybe Barry was them just scraping the barrel and now they’d feel too bad about getting rid of him. 

“I guess,” Barry offers and Clark treats him to one, pitying, smile, because that’s all he is – a pity project.  As he walks away, Barry’s fists clench. 

He just needs to work harder, be better.

He needs to show them he’s not a liability.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically, I’ve realised this is just going to be five chapters of angst and then one of hurt/comfort. Jeez. Thank you all for understanding and continuing to be so supportive. Trust me, I’m in pain too putting Barry through this.


	4. 4

Along with all the world-saving and training, Barry now has a job.  A real 9-5 job.  Sure it’s not all that glamorous and he’s little more than a glorified intern but he can now finally call himself a scientist.  He’s finally putting his college degree to use, earning money and affording more than just a mattress on a grimy floor. 

He’s finally becoming a real adult.

The problem is though, that along with the job, Barry also has to do some training and world-saving.  Not to mention his patrol around Central.  For all that he’s one of the fastest men in the world (Barry wants to be mad Clark for taking away his title as fastest but he’s _Superman_ , if there was anyone Barry would give it to, it’s him), Barry’s late a lot.  Not only that, he’s obviously late.  In that, he’s often stumbling into the precinct with his hair wild and the contents of his bag spilling onto the floor.  He’s even knocked the Captain over trying to get to the lab time.  He should have taken the hint of the way things were going to go when on the first day he accidently knocked the vials of about to be analysed samples straight onto the floor.  The sad thing is, with his powers he could have saved them.  As it was, instead of even helping to clean up, he got sent to get some coffee.

He split the coffee. 

Bruce must have called in a pretty big favour for Barry for him to still be hanging around but then, when he’s actually in the lab, in the zone and doing what his job title says, Barry’s actually pretty good at his job.  He’s missed being in a lab and sure, physically catching the bad guys is satisfying but there’s something equally satisfying about collecting the evidence that convicts them, that makes sure they’re going to pay for their crimes. 

So maybe he’s the lowest on the food chain, maybe he sometimes feels like he’s back in high school, the nerdy kid surrounded by the jocks, but Barry’s a hero now.  Barry has saved just as many, maybe more, people than a lot of these cops.  He can handle them. 

At least, that’s what Barry tells himself when faced with Mike, Dave and Lucas.  Three cops who, well Barry can’t really call them bullies, but they sure aren’t his friends.

It’s all because of Maya.  Maya the pretty detective who always has a smile for him and _likes comics_.  He hadn’t meant to go to the break room but he and Maya had started talking about Iron Man and how he’s the most emotionally messed up but awesome super hero ever and the next thing he knows, Maya’s talking to Rebecca Maddley about some case and Barry realises just where he is, who’s mercy he’s now at. 

“You really need to stop trying so hard Allen,” Dave, a guy whose bugling muscles suggest he hits the gym a little too hard, says.  “It’s sad, really.  Why would she go for a guy like you when you’ve not got any of these?”  He proudly shows off said muscles and Barry holds in a sigh.  They’ve not exactly cornered him but he’s too awkward to try and squeeze out from the loose triangle they’ve surrounded him in. 

“You need someone to help toughen you up,” Mike agrees.  “Have you ever been to a gym?  Or were you one of those nerds in school always stuck in the library?”  Barry’s pretty sure Mike’s not trying to be malicious, that he’s just joking with Barry, but being the butt of so many jokes, knowing that he _was_ the kid always stuck in the library but not for the reason they think, well; it hurts.  And Barry wears his heart too much on his sleeve to hide it.

“Don’t be so sensitive Allen,” Lucas says, slapping Barry on the back, nearly hard enough to make him stumble.  “You want to hang in the bull pen you’ve got to learn how to stand strong.”

“How ‘bout you show us how you can punch?” Mike says, bouncing on his heels as he crouches into a fighting position, fists raised.  “C’mon Allen, show us what you’re made of.  You want to impress Maya, don’t you?”

Barry could say he doesn’t like Maya like that, that he just wants to be her friend but from the way these guys speak, he’s pretty sure in their eyes men and women aren’t allowed to be friends. 

“I’m really not much of a fighter,” Barry lies, looking around for some help but both Maya and Rebecca have left, leaving just the four of them in the break room.  The thing is, Barry could probably punch Mike through a wall if he really tried.  He did it once, after building up enough speed, and even though it really hurt his hand it was one of the coolest things he’s ever done. 

But Barry kind of likes the whole anonymity that comes with being the Flash (which is now his hero name and isn’t it awesome that he now has his own hero name?) which means that either Barry has to really learn to pull back his punch (which, considering he’s been focusing on actually improving it would probably not go well) or suffer the mockery of doing nothing.  You’d think, what with how used to getting mocked Barry is, that this wouldn’t bother him all that much but that’s the thing about time.  It _doesn’t_ heal all wounds and Barry might as well be standing in front of his old school bullies, hearing them laugh at his research on the Yellow Man, or facing the older kids in the group home who had nothing better to do than pick on the younger kids. 

“Go on, just one.  Mike here can take it,” Lucas edges him on, prompting Barry forward and Barry sighs.  Maybe if he just gives him a shove, enough for him to escape he can run back to his lab where it’s quiet and-

“Barry?”

All four men turn to the door and Barry’s eyes widen to see Diana there.  How she managed to get in the break room Barry doesn’t know but he also doesn’t care in the slightest because she is his knight in shining armour. 

Well, knight in a nice, sensible blouse and pencil skirt but the point still stands.

“Diana?  What are you doing here?  Is something wrong?  Is there-” He cuts himself off just in time, remembering the cops in the room. 

“Nothing is wrong Barry.  Bruce wanted me to give you this.  He’s speeding up the plans so everything should be ready for tomorrow.”

Diana passes him a black card which Barry studies intently, preening internally at the engraved lightning bolt on it.  Fortunately, he _has_ been listening at their meetings, despite what Arthur says, so he knows what this is for.  Bruce has been talking about everyone moving into his old family home for a while now and this is Barry’s way in, at least temporarily.  Finally the Justice League is going to have a proper place of their own.  Bruce even mentioned everyone having their own room!  He wonders if Bruce really meant that.  Would it be like a sleepover?  Does it count if they’re in separate rooms?  Barry does like his new place but he would totally be up for moving in there permanently.  Is that too soon?  Would anyone else-

Barry blinks, realising Diana is still stood there and he’s just been gazing at his card like an idiot. 

“Thanks Diana,” Barry says and when he realises Diana took that as permission to leave, he quickly adds, “Wait.  Do you, uh, want some coffee or something?  It’s not bad here and I could show you around maybe and-”

Barry dreams of impressing the other cops, showing them that he knows someone as amazing as Diana quickly die when she turns to him with that familiar expression of apology and pity.  “Perhaps some other time Barry.  I need to give one to Victor.  I’ll see you tomorrow though?”

“Yeah.”  Barry tries not to let his shoulders droop.  He doesn’t know why he continues to bother, continues to try and make this more than a work thing.  It would at least save him the embarrassment of getting blown off every time, prevent those sympathetic eyes he’s sick of seeing. 

“Now who was that Allen?”  Mike asks when Diana’s finally left and Barry slides into a chair, chin resting despondently on his arms and resigns himself to the grilling he’s about to receive.

The most truthful thing Barry tells them is that Diana’s a friend. 

He doesn’t tell them the truth about anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not too happy with his chapter but that’s what you get when you’re planning consists of about 1 sentence per chapter and you leave future you to work out how you’re going to make that sentence into an actual thing. Sorry for the delay guys. Hopefully it won’t be over a week till the next update! You guys are so lovely I don’t want to keep you waiting <3


	5. 5

The pain in Barry’s leg is searing, but it’s nothing compared to the utterly destroyed morale of the group.  They may have been victorious that night but it wasn’t without victims, without wounds that could have been avoided.  It isn’t without realising that for all they call themselves a team, they clearly have a lot of issues they haven’t even begun to scratch the surface of. 

At first, they’d thought it would be an easy job.  A meta-human who can control emotions?  Barry would have dealt with him alone, especially since he was terrorising Central, but it just so happened he decided to strike his next bank during a training session.

A good test run of their newest strategy, Clark had said.  Simple, Clark had said. 

How wrong he had been.   

While Barry knew what Bivolo’s powers were, he hadn’t known exactly how they worked.  This meant that he’d been on the look-out for an actual substance that would affect him; something he presumed was so quick it hadn’t shown up on camera.  He hadn’t anticipated that all it would take was one look.  One look into blood red eyes and suddenly all Barry knew was rage, a feeling of anger unlike he had ever experienced before until it was all he knew, all he was. 

As the first on the scene, Barry’s anger had been directed on who came next – Victor.  The last thing Barry remembers before everything becomes a red-tinged blur is grabbing Victor by the throat, hearing Bivolo’s laugh behind him and seeing Victor’s human eye match his robotic one.  He knows now that Arthur and Clark also got hit but both Bruce and Diana had managed to avoid it.  The two of them had managed to capture Bivolo with ease.  What hadn’t been easy was subduing Barry, Victor, Arthur and Clark who not only fought each other but Diana and Bruce when they tried to intervene.  It had turned into an epic battle until Diana had forced Bivolo to return them to normal.  All of them were nursing injuries, the worst of Barry’s – his leg – having been caused by Clark’s laser vision. 

Upon reaching Wayne Manor, they don’t talk about what happened; they simply go to their respective rooms to change and tend to their injuries.  Barry knows they have to talk about what happened eventually but he’s not sure he can listen to Bruce and Diana recount just what they did, watch the footage that proves it.  Seeing the aftermath, the rubble, the injured civilians, and knowing it was all because of them is more than enough. 

Once back in an old university hoodie and soft tracksuit bottoms that are gentle against his slowly healing leg, Barry can’t seem to sit still.  When his stomach grumbles sorely, a sign of just how much energy he’s expended that night, he decides to head towards the kitchen, hoping that no one else has the same idea.  Fortunately the sitting room is empty however just as he’s about to pass Bruce’s room he hears voices.  As much as he knows it’s a conversation he likely doesn’t want to hear, Barry’s always been too curious for his own good and so quietly, he leans against the wall, ear beside the partially open door.  At least this way Barry can maybe prepare himself for the talk they’re going to have.

“…a shit show Alfred.  This was supposed to be _easy_. People got hurt, someone _died_ and it was because of us.”

Barry’s breathe hitches and his fingers try to clutch the wall.  He’d briefly thought it could be possible but he hadn’t wanted to believe it, had hoped they’d be lucky…

Part of Barry wants to know how it happened.  The majority of him is terrified to hear the answer.

“It was Bivolo’s actions that caused it,” Alfred says quietly and his words are followed by a repetitive stomping sound as Bruce begins to pace.

“It doesn’t change the fact it shouldn’t have happened.  Not only did we underestimate Bivolo, we overestimated our abilities.  How can we be a team when half of us don’t even want to be here?  Bivolo may have created that anger but he couldn’t produce its roots.  We can’t hide from the fact we were brought together in a moment in desperation.  We may trust each other to fight the bad guy but actually trusting each other on a personal level?  Hell, I don’t even know if we all like each other.”

Lump in his throat, Barry decides that maybe he doesn’t want to hear this after all.  Not in the mood to eat anymore, he returns to his room.  Looking around the ridiculously large yet pathetically empty space, Barry debates just clearing out his room then and there.  He recognised the tone in Bruce’s voice.  It was defeat.  Bruce was right, they could try all they wanted but they weren’t a team.  They were a bunch of people playing pretend and sure, sometimes it worked out, they _had_ saved the world but Barry was beginning to wonder if that hadn’t just been luck, hadn’t just a situation so hopeless it had ended up bringing out the best in all of them. 

This?  This had brought out the worst in them. 

What would they do if Barry just never came back?  Would they bother asking where he was, try to find him?  The answer was probably yes but they wouldn’t be asking for Barry, they’d be asking for the Flash because here his speed is all he’s good for.  Even then, Clark is just as fast as him so what can Barry offer really?  A helping hand?

Barry knows that Bruce, Clark and Diana had worked together before this and thinks maybe they should go back to it just being the three of them.  Victor and Arthur are reluctant members and as much as Barry loves being a part of the Justice League, a part of something more amazing than he could have ever dreamed, he can’t be part of the reason for its downfall. 

Barry doesn’t clean out his room that evening but he does flash back home, ignoring the pain in his leg, unable to face the conversation they were going to have. He doesn’t want to hear Bruce list the reasons they can’t be a team.

Later, Barry finds out that didn’t happen, that the Justice League still stands but even with Clark’s disappointment that Barry wasn’t there; all that Barry can really hear from Clark’s voice is the weariness.    

They may still be together now but how long will it last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are the best! Hope you liked this chapter <3


	6. +1

At one point, Barry was proud of his resolve.  Now?  Now he’s just tired.  And in pain.

A lot of pain. 

It’s kind of embarrassing really, the kidnapping so stereotypical that Barry can’t quite believe it happened to him. 

Or maybe because he’s, well, _him_ that he really shouldn’t be surprised.  

In his defense, he _had_ been tired though it was less ‘I’ve been pummeled by and if I’m being generous done a little a little pummeling myself of 5 ridiculously strong people’ and more ‘this is the first case I’ve been allowed to work on alone and I am not leaving until I’m done’.   In fact, the former might have been preferable because at least then he might have had some lingering adrenaline to work with.  As it was, he’d barely managed to lift his heavy head before he’d felt a prick in his neck.  After that, all he remembered was darkness with a few moments of light before he was pierced in the neck once again. 

It was almost a relief when he was finally allowed to stay awake for more than a few seconds.  Almost because that’s when Barry realized he was half naked and strapped to a reclined metal table with restraints not even his speed could break through.  There wasn’t even much of an evil monologue before it all began; the people who captured him just regular humans who hated the Justice League and had picked Barry as being the weakest. 

Which, considering just where he was, might have proved their point but at the beginning Barry made a vow to remain as optimistic as possible.    

5 doses of various experimental formulas of a truth serum with multiple beat ups and torture to attempt to prevent his body metabolizing said serum later; Barry is finding optimism pretty difficult.  

“No one’s coming for you, you know,” Stabby says conversationally, nicknamed so because her skill with a knife was just that.  Plus, it was a lot more appropriately villainous than the Sandra she introduced herself as.  “There’s no point to your loyalty towards them.  We’ll be getting these answers out of you one way or another; it’d be in your best interest to just tell us.”  Barry watches as she cleans another knife, one that had made a pretty pattern in his abs earlier on before trial number 3.  Barry had vomited after that one but the victory of it not working had been worth it. 

For a few seconds, their eyes catch and Barry’s dreamed of having this sort of moment with someone, where you gaze into each other’s eyes, there’s a thrum of anticipation in the air…

“Naaaah,” Barry slurs and the moment is lost.  Not that there was a moment.  He thinks.  She can’t like him like that, can she?  Unless she’s a sadist…what were they talking about again?

Barry’s lost a lot of blood.

“No matter,” Stabby says.  “Oh, looks like it’s time for another dose.”

Oh, right.  Truth serum.  Torture.  Interrogation on the Justice League.  Hoping it doesn’t work because even though Barry’s now convinced himself they definitely aren’t coming for him, he still can’t just sell them out.  No matter what Stabby says or does. 

This time, the liquid in the test tube is a light blue.  Barry’s eyes groggily follow the scientist until he stands beside Barry’s arm where his veins are exposed.  The bruises from the previous trials still haven’t faded and yep, this one hurts too when it’s stuck in.  Slowly, the serum disappears into his blood stream and then there’s the glint of the knife just before Stabby draws a long, painful, line from his shoulder to his hip.  There’s no point in being quiet and so a low whine makes its way out of him as she smirks, clearly enjoying herself. 

Well, at least one of them is. 

It might be his imagination, but Barry thinks he can already feel his healing factor kicking in and for once he really wishes it wouldn’t because he can tell this time’s different.  He’s nauseous, like all the previous times, but now it’s accompanied by something else, a sensation of almost weightlessness, a need for something.  A need to talk. 

Barry’s no stranger to that feeling but it’s the first time he’s ever been so scared by it. 

Something in his expression must give it away because Stabby tilts her head.  “Feeling a bit more talkative, Mr. Allen?”

“Talkative?  I – no – talkative would imply I have a lot to say and I really don’t want to tell you anything.  I’m in a lot of pain and it even hurts to speak and I don’t want to sell out my fr-the League.”

Stabby smirks, getting far too close for Barry’s comfort. 

“I don’t think you have a choice.  Tell me _Flash_ , where is your base of operations.  Where might I find your friends _all in one spot_?”

Panic claws in Barry’s stomach as words instantly begin to fly up his throat.  This is nothing like when Barry’s nervous and whatever’s on his mind bursts out.  This is a level of need he has never experienced before, never been so powerless to.  Maybe, maybe he can stall, maybe he can-

“It’s surrounded by buildings,” Barry blurts, the need to say nearly Wayne Manor reaching boiling point.  Perhaps if he just says enough useless things that are true then he can wait it out…“It’s in-in Gotham.  From here you’d need to-um-it’s-”

Barry hisses as Stabby swiftly enters the knife in his leg, the same one that only a few weeks ago had been hit by Clark. 

“Enough of that now,” Stabby says dangerously.  “Tell me what I want to know.”

He can’t do it.  He has to tell her.  “I-It’s-”

The door slams open just as Barry yells Wayne Manor, the knife now buried to the hilt in his thigh.  A golden light seems to encompass Stabby and just as Barry’s certain he’s kicked the bucket, Stabby gets yanked away, revealing Diana standing there, her lasso in hand.

Barry might black out for a second because next thing he knows, Diana  is releasing him from his restraints. 

“It’s okay Barry.  We’re getting you out of here.  Can you walk?”

Finally safe, any restraint Barry had over his tongue is gone and the truth comes spilling out of him. 

“My leg really, really hurts.  I don’t think I can.  I didn’t think you’d come, you know.  I tried to fight the serum anyway but this time I couldn’t.  It’s really lucky you came.  I didn’t think you would.  I hurt a lot everywhere.  Are we leaving?  I’d like to leave.  It’s not nice here.  Did you guys come to find me?  Or the Flash?  I’m sorry I was gonna tell her.  I didn’t want to.  But I’m sorry.  I tried.  I just wanted you guys to like me.  I wish we could be friends.  Oh, are we going?”

“We are Barry, Diana says gently, forgoing having him lean on her in favour of a bridal carry.  Maybe Barry should care that he’s being carried like this but he’s really tired, in pain, and Diana’s skin is very soft where his face is mushed against it.  He ends up telling her this and he thinks Diana laughs though she doesn’t sound entirely happy.  Is Barry heavy or something?

“You did very well Barry.  Feel free to go to sleep if you want.  You’re safe now.”

Even though Barry still feels the urge to tell her more, such as how he’s pretty sure he’s hallucinating, his body finally gives out properly and Barry’s plunged into the sweet embrace of darkness. 

* * *

When Barry wakes he has to pinch himself because he’s pretty sure he’s dreaming.  Not only is he in his room at Wayne Manor but he’s not alone.  Surrounding him are his teammates, all asleep apart from Bruce who’s playing on his phone.  At least, he is until he notices Barry pinching himself a second time, just to be sure.  His body already hurts enough without him abusing it more but he can’t help it – _what’s going on_?

“Hey Barry,” Bruce greets and of course that’s enough to cause six pairs of open eyes to land directly on him.

Realising that he doesn’t have a shirt on, Barry pulls the bedsheet further up his chest. 

“…Hello?”

At the ensuing silence, Diana rolls her eyes and comes to sit on the edge of Barry’s bed.  “How are you feeling?”

“…Um…”

Arthur snorts.  “Well, at least we know that shit’s worn off.”

Barry blinks.  “…Uh, what’s worn off?”

“How much do you remember Barry?”  Asks Clark. 

Barry picks at a nail as he thinks back.  Clearly, from how he feels right now it had been pretty bad and…oh yeah.  The kidnapping.  The torture…the serum.  Things get a bit hazy at the end but he remembers being given the serum, the panic, Diana showing up…

“Oh man, what did I say?”  Barry whines.  He knows he said the truth, that much is obvious but _what_ truths did he say?  Did he admit to wetting the bed until he was 10?  To having small, very insignificant and hopefully not worth talking about crushes on Diana and Clark…

“You said you didn’t think we would come for you,” Bruce answers and while that’s not so bad comparatively, he still hides a wince.  What should he say?  Should he lie?  ‘No guys I had total faith in you because we’re all such good buddies?’

“Which we can’t really blame you for,” Arthur adds gruffly, saving Barry from trying to come up with something.  “This team’s been a shit show from the get go.” 

“Funnily enough, excluding Steppenwolf, we worked the best we had when rescuing you,” Victor says, a small lilt to his lips and while Barry realises that’s supposed to be uplifting, it means that Barry _has_ been a hindrance and-

“Whatever’s going in your head, knock it off,” Bruce interjects.  “What Victor means is we had the right motivation.”

“We’ve not been a good team,” Clark says.  “We’ve not been a team full stop.  We’ve not been trying to get to know each other and we need to change that.  We didn’t just come to rescue the Flash but we came to rescue you Barry because you _are_ our friend.   I’m sorry it took you getting kidnapped to get us to admit it.  You don’t deserve how we’ve treated you, how we’ve been treating each other.”

“…You guys are my friends?”  Barry repeats, hating how small his voice sounds.  He’s tempted to pinch himself one last time.  He’s not going to cry, he is _not going to cry_ …

All it takes it a chorus of ‘we are’s and Diana’s arm wrapping around his shoulders and Barry’s gone.  He’d try to blame the blood loss but he figures that it’s been long enough that no one will buy it.  At least it doesn’t look like they care.  Well, Arthur looks a bit panicked and lost and Bruce looks vaguely murderous but they’re not laughing at him, which used to happen when he was a kid. 

“What do you say when you’re better we all go out for drinks.  Celebrate a new start, a new way this team’s going to run,” Clark suggests, once Barry’s left with a few lingering tears. 

“You might have a fast metabolism Flash but I’d like to see you try and beat me in a drinking competition,” Arthur cajoles and this, _this_ is the kind of teasing Barry’s been wanting.  Not the guys at the precinct’s kind that just serves to make him feel small. 

“Oh, that reminds me.”  Victor throws something in Barry’s direction and he catches it to find food in his hands.  Not just any food though.  Chocolate muffins.  “Thought you might be hungry.”

Now that he mentions it, Barry’s starving and while he would like to savor this moment, he ends up devouring them in seconds. 

“Thanks Victor,” Barry says, his abated hunger outweighing his embarrassment.  Setting the box to the side, he leans back into his pillows, unable to hold back a yawn.

“We should let you get some sleep,” Bruce says pointedly.  “We’ll order some take out for when you wake up next.”

“Can we watch a movie too?”   Barry asks unthinkingly but instead of getting rejected, as has always happened before, Diana nods.   

“How about Iron Man?”  She suggests and Barry might just be in love. 

“Sounds great,” he says, a large, dopey smile on his face and for the first time in perhaps forever, Barry can go to sleep knowing everything’s okay.

He finally has friends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope this chapter made up for the last 5 D: Thank you guys for sticking with this story, your support has been amazing and helped me get this out!


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